Meditation of my heart

Look at my devotional thought for the day:

"And Peter...walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:28-30

"The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on the water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.

We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: 'Wherefore didst thou doubt?' Let actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him.

If you debate for a second when God has spoken, it is all up. Never begin to say-'Well, I wonder if He did speak?' Be reckless immediately, fling it all out on Him. You do not know when His voice will come, but whenever the realization of God comes in the faintest way imaginable, recklessly abandon. It is only by abandon that you recognize Him. You will only realize His voice more clearly by recklessness."

-Oswald Chambers

Wow. I have been hit with amazing revelation the last two days about this waiting period. I realize I have been so focused on getting "the call" and by doing that, I have not been loving the God who spun this into existence in the first place. My worship to Him through this trial is to keep Him front and center, seeking His peace amidst the swirls of chaos. I have found myself asking if we will ever get the call that we are approved and out. How dare I! I must continue to "abandon" my fears, impatience and obsession and "fling it all on Him." That is what I am called to do. I cannot forget that THIS moment is the moment He intended for me to live out during this day, in this journey. Every hour that passes, I have a chance to glorify Him by emptying myself, serving others and proclaiming His gift of Love and salvation through Jesus Christ. This day is priceless to Him. Why must I think it isn't for me, too? He has gifted us with a beautiful, healthy baby girl, orphaned at birth, and called us to raise her in His Way; to be His hands, His feet and His love to her in the flesh. My heart overflows with love and compassion for this precious baby girl. Tears stream down my face now as I think of her beautiful heart and gentle spirit. There is so much to discover about her and the unique person that she is. My heart aches to hold her. Yet, I know that it WILL happen one day. And when that day comes, we will never have to let her go again. May He be our strength, our fortress of peace, our rock in the storm, until the day He puts Madalyn in our arms forever.